Freedom in choice
In her song Should I Go, American Rn’B artist Brandy sings about making a decision. The chorus goes: “Should I go, should I stay, I’m in control either way…”
How many of us can say with confidence: “I’m in control whether I choose left or right”?
Decisions can be very scary, but they are the only tool we have to really experience true power and lasting freedom. By being able to take responsibility for the choices we make, we are able to realise that we have the power to direct our lives.
Many times we are too happy with making excuses and blaming others. We therefore give over our power away to fate, our bosses and our parents.
Choice is the power we have to be different and the minute we start taking responsibility for our choices, whether good or bad, we take back the power in our lives.
In the past I have blamed God for not answering a prayer, my mother for stifling my space, my boyfriend for being too controlling. I did not realise that all along the life that I was living was a life I chose to live.
I am not the only one that has given away my power through pointing a finger at other people.
A friend recently told me how she broke up with a boyfriend who was not treating her well. He would cheat on her and then deny his affairs. Later on, when the friend complained about his behaviour, he would remind her that she was in the relationship by choice not by force.
She didn’t listen and stayed in the relationship for three years. She only received her freedom the day she realised that his words were true – she was in the relationship by choice not by force.
You may also be stuck and not realise that the power to live a greater life lies within you. You make choices whether consciously or unconsciously, and these choices shape your life and give you what you deserve. You may not be able to change how you got to where you are, but the choice to take responsibility is a step in the right direction towards freedom.
My life-changing moment was I discovered the Serenity Prayer, which goes: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference.”
This prayer revolutionised my life as teenager. As a grown young woman who has started an exciting year with new beginnings, I realise now how the life I live today is about change.
I realise that I have power of choice and that leads me to a sense of being free. So when I want to blame my boss for making me angry or an ex-boyfriend for making me not believe in love, I remind myself that I am in control – I choose how I react to situations and how people will affect my mood.
You can’t change what happens to you but you can choose how you react to it.
As one man said: “Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice.”
Make a choice not to be an object in life but be a subject and in control. You choose the life you live – you are in control either way!
Tips that have helped me:
Never make important decisions under pressure. If you feel pressured then take some time away and think. Remember you have to live with the choices that you make.
If you are unhappy, remember you have chosen that state of being. You can always choose differently.
If your choices have bad consequences, find a lesson rather than seeing failure or the end of the world.
Be forgiving when others do not make the choices that suit you. Remember, every person has their own path to walk in life.
Allow yourself to ask for advice if you have a difficult choice to make. This is not a sign of weakness.
*This article was published in MOVE! magazine January 28 2008.
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