Which way to HEAVEN?
[The following articles, okay the others will apear above this one but anyway, were not published in the five months I spent at a certain magazine. For my own ego… yes self indulgent. I am publishing them myself. Hope you enjoy my not-so-great-white-articles.]
WHICH WAY TO HEAVEN?
THOU shalt not drool over your best friend’s swanky BMW convertible.
Thou shalt not devour an entire bowl of chocolate mousse all on your lonesome and God forbid you spend the entire week doing much of nothing.
A good Catholic knows to avoid eternal damnation he or she needs to steer clear of the Seven Deadly Sins of pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed and sloth.
Earlier this year the church in rome changed the reality that we live in. that our determined avoidance of these ancient sins won’t guarantee a one-way ticket to heaven.
The Catholic Church has seen fit to update its intent to save the world’s souls by adding Seven Modern Deadly Sins that will ensure you escape the greedy clutches of the one who will remain unnamed.
Sin is no longer an individual act but one against the larger community in this era of “unstoppable globalisation”, said Archbishop Gianfranco Girotti, the Vatican’s head of Apostolic Penitentiary.
‘‘Attention to sin is more urgent today than yesterday for its reflections are broader and more destructive,’’ the man, whose office deals with matters of conscience and absolution, declared in the Vatican newspaper L’Osservatore Romano.
‘‘An offence against God is not only stealing or coveting another man's wife, it is also destroying the environment. ’’
The Fourteen Deadly Sins now include not only the transgression of environmental pollution but also genetic modification, morally dubious scientific experiments, accumulating excessive wealth, drug abuse, causing social injustices and inequalities, and causing poverty.
The Vatican is even putting its money where its mouth is when it comes to the new directive, ‘Thou shalt not pollute the earth’.
Last year it installed 1000 solar panels in its Paul VI Audience Hall, joined a reforestation programme and handed out prayer books made out of recycled paper at a youth festival.
So what do others have to say about the new ways to save their souls?
As a journalist I allowed them to confess their modern sins in the hope they will be spared a flame-licked afterlife . . .
TV personality and popular Afrikaans singer Patricia Lewis is worried she may have failed miserably in the save-your-environment stakes. ‘‘I think I’m guilty of that sin as I drive a four by four car,’’ she laments, and then adds hopefully: ‘‘But it is diesel and omits less fuel . . .’’
However, she’s decidedly unapologetic regarding her accumulation of wealth. ‘‘We all seek and want a better life,’’ she says with a shrug.
But the Vatican may have a thing or two to say about her pro-genetic manipulation and pro-morally dubious experiments stance.
‘‘I’m in favour of biological experiments if it means bringing help and healing to a lot of people,’’ she admits.
But she’s adamant that abusing drugs can’t be pinned on her. ‘‘As a mother I’m aware of the dangers of drugs and will protect my child from drugs with my whole being.’’
And don’t dare accuse her of causing poverty. ‘‘I’m not guilty of that,’’ she says triumphantly. ‘‘I have a company that employs over 85 people and therefore I’m creating employment and consequently reducing poverty. I’m trying to do my bit for our country.’’
Actor Robert Whitehead, who plays the man destined to enjoy his time in hell, egomaniacal Barker Haines in popular soapie Isidingo, believes anyone who’s polluted the environment should be sentenced to spend an eternity in the industrial town of Secunda in Mpumalanga.
But he probably shouldn’t be pointing at the splinter in other people’s eyes as he has a log or two in his own and freely admits he’s “probably guilty of most sins.’’
‘‘Does imbibing alcohol regularly count as a sin?’’ he queries. ‘‘But I’ve given up smoking, so can maybe I be cleansed of the drug abuse transgression?’’
He admits the one sin he’d happily embrace is that of accumulating excessive wealth. ‘‘As an actor that’s just not possible but I do wish it upon myself,’’ he says with his trademark wicked smile.
Actor Zane Meas, who also starred in Isidingo but now acts in popular Afrikaans soapie 7de Laan, believes the punishment for littering should see sinners spending a day locked up in a room bursting with cigarette buds, bottles, plastic and all sorts of smelly litter.
He confesses he might be guilty of social inequalities and injustices. ‘‘Being human we’re all guilty of this and there’s no doubt we can all do more to make the lives of our fellow human beings better,’‘ he says.
He’s especially concerned about morally debatable scientific experiments such as embryonic stem cell research, cloning and other bio-ethical experiments.
‘‘As a Christian I do believe there are areas where we shouldn’t mess around with the work of God,’’ he says, echoing Archbishop Girotti’s sentiments. ‘‘With some of these experiments we’re not sure what the outcomes will be and this could place all of humanity in danger.’’
Soccer ace Mark Fish’s wife Loui Fish is guilty as charged when it comes to keeping it green.
‘‘I smoke like a chimney,’’ she admits. ‘‘And if the genetic manipulation sin includes plastic surgery or enhancing your genes through Botox, then obviously I’m guilty of that too.’’
She’s recently had her bosom enlarged to a weighty 34DD and regularly smoothes out any signs of aging with Botox.
She believes drug abuse is one sin most people have committed. ‘‘This doesn’t only include hard drugs but also alcohol abuse and addiction to medicines,’’ she insists. ‘‘The drug sin is definitely one of modern society’s biggest problems.
We really need to do everything in our power to protect our children from this scourge.
’’ She’s also going to teach her children a valuable lesson she’s learnt. ‘‘I’m sure at some point in everyone’s life we have all dreamt of being extremely rich but I’ve realised money doesn’t necessarily ensure happiness.’’
She admits she doesn’t live her life governed by the Seven Deadly Sins although it does make for “a great debate around the dinner table.’’
‘‘I believe that what you go to jail for on earth is what you should go to hell for in the afterlife,’’ she says. ‘‘I consider paedophilia a much bigger sin than manipulating your genes, so it makes me wonder why this one has not been mentioned . . .’‘
Archbishop Girotti did in fact name paedophilia and abortion as two of the greatest sins of the modern era. But when a cheeky journalist questioned him about Catholic priests sexually abusing minors he brushed the impertinent query off saying those cases were “exaggerations by the mass media aimed at discrediting the Church.’’
Maybe these so-called “exaggerations” will be next on his sin hitlist.
Extra sources: Associated Press, BBC News, http://www.canada.com/, http://www.chicagotribune.com/
WHICH WAY TO HEAVEN?
THOU shalt not drool over your best friend’s swanky BMW convertible.
Thou shalt not devour an entire bowl of chocolate mousse all on your lonesome and God forbid you spend the entire week doing much of nothing.
A good Catholic knows to avoid eternal damnation he or she needs to steer clear of the Seven Deadly Sins of pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed and sloth.
Earlier this year the church in rome changed the reality that we live in. that our determined avoidance of these ancient sins won’t guarantee a one-way ticket to heaven.
The Catholic Church has seen fit to update its intent to save the world’s souls by adding Seven Modern Deadly Sins that will ensure you escape the greedy clutches of the one who will remain unnamed.
Sin is no longer an individual act but one against the larger community in this era of “unstoppable globalisation”, said Archbishop Gianfranco Girotti, the Vatican’s head of Apostolic Penitentiary.
‘‘Attention to sin is more urgent today than yesterday for its reflections are broader and more destructive,’’ the man, whose office deals with matters of conscience and absolution, declared in the Vatican newspaper L’Osservatore Romano.
‘‘An offence against God is not only stealing or coveting another man's wife, it is also destroying the environment. ’’
The Fourteen Deadly Sins now include not only the transgression of environmental pollution but also genetic modification, morally dubious scientific experiments, accumulating excessive wealth, drug abuse, causing social injustices and inequalities, and causing poverty.
The Vatican is even putting its money where its mouth is when it comes to the new directive, ‘Thou shalt not pollute the earth’.
Last year it installed 1000 solar panels in its Paul VI Audience Hall, joined a reforestation programme and handed out prayer books made out of recycled paper at a youth festival.
So what do others have to say about the new ways to save their souls?
As a journalist I allowed them to confess their modern sins in the hope they will be spared a flame-licked afterlife . . .
TV personality and popular Afrikaans singer Patricia Lewis is worried she may have failed miserably in the save-your-environment stakes. ‘‘I think I’m guilty of that sin as I drive a four by four car,’’ she laments, and then adds hopefully: ‘‘But it is diesel and omits less fuel . . .’’
However, she’s decidedly unapologetic regarding her accumulation of wealth. ‘‘We all seek and want a better life,’’ she says with a shrug.
But the Vatican may have a thing or two to say about her pro-genetic manipulation and pro-morally dubious experiments stance.
‘‘I’m in favour of biological experiments if it means bringing help and healing to a lot of people,’’ she admits.
But she’s adamant that abusing drugs can’t be pinned on her. ‘‘As a mother I’m aware of the dangers of drugs and will protect my child from drugs with my whole being.’’
And don’t dare accuse her of causing poverty. ‘‘I’m not guilty of that,’’ she says triumphantly. ‘‘I have a company that employs over 85 people and therefore I’m creating employment and consequently reducing poverty. I’m trying to do my bit for our country.’’
Actor Robert Whitehead, who plays the man destined to enjoy his time in hell, egomaniacal Barker Haines in popular soapie Isidingo, believes anyone who’s polluted the environment should be sentenced to spend an eternity in the industrial town of Secunda in Mpumalanga.
But he probably shouldn’t be pointing at the splinter in other people’s eyes as he has a log or two in his own and freely admits he’s “probably guilty of most sins.’’
‘‘Does imbibing alcohol regularly count as a sin?’’ he queries. ‘‘But I’ve given up smoking, so can maybe I be cleansed of the drug abuse transgression?’’
He admits the one sin he’d happily embrace is that of accumulating excessive wealth. ‘‘As an actor that’s just not possible but I do wish it upon myself,’’ he says with his trademark wicked smile.
Actor Zane Meas, who also starred in Isidingo but now acts in popular Afrikaans soapie 7de Laan, believes the punishment for littering should see sinners spending a day locked up in a room bursting with cigarette buds, bottles, plastic and all sorts of smelly litter.
He confesses he might be guilty of social inequalities and injustices. ‘‘Being human we’re all guilty of this and there’s no doubt we can all do more to make the lives of our fellow human beings better,’‘ he says.
He’s especially concerned about morally debatable scientific experiments such as embryonic stem cell research, cloning and other bio-ethical experiments.
‘‘As a Christian I do believe there are areas where we shouldn’t mess around with the work of God,’’ he says, echoing Archbishop Girotti’s sentiments. ‘‘With some of these experiments we’re not sure what the outcomes will be and this could place all of humanity in danger.’’
Soccer ace Mark Fish’s wife Loui Fish is guilty as charged when it comes to keeping it green.
‘‘I smoke like a chimney,’’ she admits. ‘‘And if the genetic manipulation sin includes plastic surgery or enhancing your genes through Botox, then obviously I’m guilty of that too.’’
She’s recently had her bosom enlarged to a weighty 34DD and regularly smoothes out any signs of aging with Botox.
She believes drug abuse is one sin most people have committed. ‘‘This doesn’t only include hard drugs but also alcohol abuse and addiction to medicines,’’ she insists. ‘‘The drug sin is definitely one of modern society’s biggest problems.
We really need to do everything in our power to protect our children from this scourge.
’’ She’s also going to teach her children a valuable lesson she’s learnt. ‘‘I’m sure at some point in everyone’s life we have all dreamt of being extremely rich but I’ve realised money doesn’t necessarily ensure happiness.’’
She admits she doesn’t live her life governed by the Seven Deadly Sins although it does make for “a great debate around the dinner table.’’
‘‘I believe that what you go to jail for on earth is what you should go to hell for in the afterlife,’’ she says. ‘‘I consider paedophilia a much bigger sin than manipulating your genes, so it makes me wonder why this one has not been mentioned . . .’‘
Archbishop Girotti did in fact name paedophilia and abortion as two of the greatest sins of the modern era. But when a cheeky journalist questioned him about Catholic priests sexually abusing minors he brushed the impertinent query off saying those cases were “exaggerations by the mass media aimed at discrediting the Church.’’
Maybe these so-called “exaggerations” will be next on his sin hitlist.
Extra sources: Associated Press, BBC News, http://www.canada.com/, http://www.chicagotribune.com/
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